A River of Words About Me

There are few who actually know me.  Fewer people who understand and get my train of thought.  My likes and dislikes often reflect my range of thinking, which at times I must confess it feels very different than most.  I look at people and things in a totally different light.  I consider myself to be highly compassionate.  I listen intently to everything deeply and feel from it.  People shy away from the abnormal and I embrace it.  The art I like is different than what most like.  I look beyond it, like I could be in another dimension.  I see beauty in the living and the dying.  I'm an eternal optimist and a pessimist.  I guess it doesn't matter if you don't get, it matters that I get it.  I see beauty in most minute things that's why I love macro photography.  When I'm on the ocean it feels like home and I'm alone and at peace.
With my music nothing else exists.  Lost.  Music I feel it coursing, pouring through my veins.  Each sound, even the faintest sounds, blending exquisitely together, each intricate part building up, I'm not here anymore.  The strings to a violin, the deep tones of the piano, space and time are gone.  Wait?  Where was I?
I find logic in almost everything and push through the mess.  Often times I can be judgmental and upfront and more often brutally honest.  My mind can be its own worst enemy when things are bad.  I feel the pain pulsing through my veins.  Everything feels real.  Not everyone has the courage to be themselves.  Breathe.  From sounds to reading everything wells up inside me bursting at the seems.  My moods are built into the music I adore and the feelings I share and the movies I enjoy.  Sometimes it feels like its bleeding.  Understand?  In any given moment when in a crowded room, alone.  Entirely free.  Lost.  Escape.
I feel at home through imagination, through inspiration.  I tend to put peoples needs before my own.  Fields are empty Or are they?  I lack surprise.  I feel pain walking by another.  I don't take risks but deep inside I'm an adventurer, dying to come out.  I stand firm in my beliefs, hard swayed without facts.   I am of my own breed not another even close.  I look into starry nights and the world melts away.  I look at mother nature in every way and see beauty at everything she does, as everything begins and fades away.  My dreams feel real and sometimes decide my moods, I respect the living and the deceased, I feel it all around me.  I'm the total lack of my own demise.  Most people don't have the courage to say, but what does one really have to lose?  I pity people who live without love.  I want to fall in love and believe it still exist but I have learned to never compromise your soul.  People who know me know the surface of me but not the essence of me.  My tolerance for nonsense is non existent  yet I have such great patience.  I sense things that don't belong.  Its eerie to be me.  I cry because I feel and ache at thinking to far into the unknown at times so I bury the demons deeper and deeper.