You know what i think is sad?

When the 27yr old(god i cant believe i said that out loud) acts more like an adult than people in the 40's, 50's and 80s. My family makes me crazy. Everyone is too proud to put aside their bullshit meaningless differances and just value and respect and enjoy having an actual family( WHO IS STILL ALLL ALIVE AND WELL), instead of alienating and pushing away people because of different views or thoughts and lifestyles.
Only after they are gone, or someone becomes ill, they will sit back and go "huh, wish things where different." Seriously, all i care about is being with the people I love. Does anything, any faults they may have, I may have, and bills, any other worrys really matter? ? ? ? ? No! No one wants to feel left out, no one wants to be alone. I will not have any regrets whats so ever. Because at least i can set aside all the bullshit insecurities and nonsence to say no matter what I LOVE THEM and I should not, SHOULD NOT have to decide ever, where i should be. There is no choosing sides to family. THATS WHY ITS CALLED FAMILY. All i want for christmas, is to NOT HAVE TO BE THE ADULT, AND MY ENTIRE FAMILY be in the same goddamn room with no judgement and set aside their bullshit. WHICH IT IS ALL TOTAL BULLSHIT. you have ONE...not two...not three...ONE REAL FAMILY. One family who will always be there for you, one family that is your own blood and as close to you as you can ever get. So for christmas for godfucking sake can I please have everyone love and respect each other even if its one day? it might kill ya why dont you just try and do it. Cause out of everyone...I put aside everyone's and i mean everyones bullshit and equally love them with out skipping a beat.

Evolving from change

There are so many up's and down's, sudden jerks in life I do beleive it's what makes you the person you are or will become. For more than five years I do believe that my life was anything but ordinary. I hated life in every single aspect, but just now within the past two years, I have learned so much about who I really am, that I have started to not only begin to love myself but appreciate life more.
I used to feel like I couldn't obtain the things I wanted in life or accomplish certain goals, I constantly put "someone" before myself and selling myself short. I hated waking up in the morning, I hated trying to sleep, the constant worrying and wondering. I hated happy people and I hated sad people and I hated the feeling of emptyness inside to the poing where I could be vertually any where....and weather it be the laughter, the dancing, the sadness, all around me and yet I'd feel so removed from where I was that I felt as if i where an enigma.
For several years I was convinced it was all me. For several years I allowed to be blinded by blinders and believe this is allll that life offered to me. For years I convinced myself that I needed and loved what and who I had. And now I have evloved to a better person not so blinded after all.
I have learned within two years that no matter how comfortable a situation might be, or how long it has been going on, or that change is too scary cause what would it be like with or without someone or changing jobs, changing careers, moving, or just letting go of someone you know just doesnt fit for you(and some of you know that deep down that he or she just isnt right for you; why do you insist on wearing blinders?). CHANGE IS AMAZING. You survive. You live. You learn from it and yet you still go on. To let something finally go, to make that leap of change, that you know deep down you should of done early on is so more poetic and feels like a rush of relief and fresh air swept over you. Things begin to smell better. Taste better, feel better, sleep better. The endless worry nights seems to vanish and your mind begins to finally relax. Like the way the ocean meets the land. Why is it that people are soo afraid of change? Why do we constantly sell our selves short from what we deserve and can aquire? Can it really be that bad? I say no. I say love change, change is what helps you grow and become the person you shall become. I hope to never stop changing. I say own up to yourself, to your own feelings because they are your feelings and you owe it to yourself to not alway sacrafice your soul for what you know in your heart is wrong for you. The moment it comes you know it has to change. Why cast aside what you feel or know? Cause you'll find 3yrs, 5yrs, 7yrs will pass and your only hurting yourself and im pretty sure others as well. Love change. There is nothing more new and exciting to explore than yourself. Finally start loving you.

What are they seriously thinking?

What happened with guys being shy around girls, ethics and at least some class??? I would really like to know. I'm tired of meeting men, if that's what you would like to call them and instead of them trying to be nice and maybe even lieing a bit to you to at least get to hang out with you, they just by pass all that and come right out with it? Frankly, I'm not sure if i perfer the honesty or the lies better. It's just so bold. And the cell phone has become the devils tool!!! Goddamn technology with pic, and video sending. I dont want to see that shit. You can only imagine, not going to get into details. But seriously why even see the girl now when you can appearently attempt it via phone? Freakin perverts.lol
Frankly guys, get some class will you. What ever happened to wooing us?
enough said.

Could they seriously make any more excuses up?

I do believe that Valentines day is seriously the worst possible holiday, if you honestly want to call it a holiday. All it does is generate retarded amounts of money spent on useless shit to give to your significant other. A day to show how much your care...just on one day? Do you know by any chance how retarded that just sounds? If your sooo in love with your significant other why dont you show how you care every day??? Instead of one stupid day where you buy crap that you either eat or dies in a week, why isn't valentines day every day? Its all rigged to keep the economy going and to make society believe false illusions. I do not hate this holiday because I do not have a significant other, I hate this holiday for the very reason that people justify and cave into such false illusions thrown into their faces. showing you love and care about someone on one retarded day, setting up expectations that can't be met and or wasting your time and money as well.
Love is a connection that you share with someone one that you should celebrate everyday cause you never know whats going to happen tomorrow or how long it will last. You should cherish one another everyday and not waste time on jewerly and chocolates to prove your love. I also hate how it makes people feel when they dont have someone in their life currently. I guess that could go along with then people are depressed and low self esteem which in turn still helps the economy cause now they are buying anti depressants. Pharmacuticals companys...ahhh...thats another topic.....Why dont they just have a bullshit day called "Happy Singles day" where all the singles just buy useless crap to exchange! There's another way to make more money and ram what corporate giants and advertisments down your throat. This marketing stratagy and holiday is just a very sad excuse if you ask me.