Stop Chasing and Just Open Your Eyes

My fate leads me in a constant haze of ciaos. I adapt and just try and accept that these are the cards I have been dealt with. Can't stand being an adult. If we could use a get out of jail card in real life I would be the cheater. I would abuse the get out of jail card every time I had to be an adult. The best part we as the adult still play games. Childish games and along with the the foolish lies that we think we are so sneaky at. I look foolishly back at my past in shame and question my lack of judgement. I knew the game, I knew the lies yet I played along. Why didn't I care more about me? Why didn't I continue to be the asshole I was being? I don't want to say I was a total asshole but I'll say I really only concerned about very little and more interested in finally loving and making myself happy. But as life and time flows steadily on, what can one really do? Beat myself down till there is nothing left, why should i give anyone that satisfaction? I wound and tangled myself in this, and now I'm untangling myself. That's all I can do. I finally made it, I made a clean get away. All it takes is one feeling to turn it all around, one realization and it changes everything, every word ever said, everything ever thought, changed. Just simply fall for nothing. Maybe the best and only relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. Maybe, its just something none of us are willing to except but honestly is it really all that bad? It's time to stop chasing and just open your eyes.