I couldn’t help but wonder how time works exactly. It’s with us where ever you go. It can haunt you, it can make you eager to look forward, it can feel as if all time has stopped, it can make you feel early or late, sad or happy. Time and emotions, can be a tragic game. You know that moment where everything is just so blissful and delightful and everything seems so right and perfect you wish you could just freeze frame the entire events? And then there’s the moments when awful things happen to you like when you care about someone so much and you loose them or big tragic events that it simply feels like time has suddenly gone into slow motion and everyone around you is moving at lightening speed? I’m pretty sure you do know what I’m talking about and if you don’t I’m sorry for being far to philosophical....eh...no I’m not. I just remember certain moments in my life where I wish all time would stop and I could keep that moment forever. Just hold on to it for dear life. I guess that’s why they are called memories. You hold them dear to your heart. Then there are the times where awful things happened and all I could reflect on where going back. Back to the beginning. Where everything was okay and blissful and analyzing the hell out of it to see just which way it turned wrong or just so I could relive them blissful moments.
I guess that helps us learn from the bad and be grateful for the good. But it also teaches us just how much we take for granted every day. When I lost someone recently I cared a great deal about I couldn’t help but to constantly look to the beginning over and over again. Every memory, every moment, every conversation, and the laughs the sad times and it felt all so real. Like it was all still there, you just dwell on them. Remember that slow motion thing I said earlier, yeah, this is where it starts. Everything is still moving forward and your stuck in the past, reliving pieces of your past, while time, time is still making the future. There’s a point for all of us where we have all been stuck there and then there are also the moments where we are all ready to come out of slow motion and return to real time and try and look happily into the future. I find that life is what you make it. You can either be in real time, or live in the past. You can’t predict the future. You can only hope you have gained and learned and continue to learn and seek good things and hope the future is brighter one. I am an optimist. People claim that people can’t change. Someone used to constantly try and tell me that. I never once believed it. As I look into the past and to the present of what they said I can see just how full of shit that foolish statement really is. I know how down and out feels and I tend to hang out once in awhile in the slow motion aspect of time, but god I love those moments where I pick myself up and come back to real time.
...all I know is I’m an OPTIMIST.