Lately my emotions are getting the best of me over things I know I can't control. Yet I'm thoroughly aggravated and emotionally annoyed by it. I know there is nothing I can do about these certain situation and yet I dwell and can not remove them from my head. (This is for my most current present state, nothing to do with my past, just an FYI ) They keep popping back inside my head and I keep playing out the stupid scenario of did I, or what if's, did I say this, or should I have done that? And yet I know its all either irrelevant or totally illogical yet I find no matter how busy I am. BAM it pops into this masochistic mind. Is it just typical? I have no clue. Is it thoroughly annoying? Absolutely. Do I wish I could make it stop. I beg for it. I blame my caring beating feeble wussy heart. Sometimes I just pray for that type of self diluted state of emotional separation. Maybe that dark and twisty side of me is just catching up with me. Perhaps, not. I put too much value in heart or emotions is going on I guess all in good faith? I don't know what else to really call it. Most times I tend to think I'm pretty rational, but lately why am I just caring about things that have very little significance? Or maybe they do? How can you even really tell and why is it really getting the best of me at random moments in time? I put too much value in things in my surroundings. My emotions run amok and I always have that deeper sense of connection that probably never exists but only exists in my mind. Maybe, maybe not...feels like self mutational of emotions personally. Make it STOP...Seriously....what's wrong with me??? Maybe the lack of sleep that is catching up with me, maybe I just care way to much, maybe I'm way over thinking (shocker). But I find it curious why I put so much stock into these little things that seem to mean something to me that normally has very little significance to the majority. Maybe I just need a holiday in Spain.
