I saw this on Susan Cain's Facebook this morning and enjoyed it very much and felt it was worth the share.  Enjoy.
Good Life Project

My Efforts to Equilibrium

In a very short period of time, I was able to change key things in my life.  I keep seeking for that sense of equilibrium.  Being unemployed has it's challenges, but it has shed some wealth of knowledge upon me.  For example for one I gave up cursing.  It's odd how this starts,  it appears I think socially or culturally, I don't do it around my gramps, work or other relevant places, what purpose does it serve except for making you sound less intelligent? It wasn't hard let's put it that way, but I will say once you do knowingly stop you become more aware of your surroundings and of others and their foul mouths.  I thank you for kindly pointing that out.

Moving on...I have in the past and maybe this has been apart of my ability to escape the drama, or keep some Zen in my life but I forgive and let go and move on.  I think this helps my sanity.  With or without these people in my life.  I can't understand people who feel the need to hold on so tight to things that they need to  beat down on people to make themselves feel better.  If that helps you feel better, beat away, this does not affect me but if it helps you in some way carry on.


My family has gotten a new puppy last month, although old wounds are still fresh, but new memories are being made and welcomed.  Each dog brings some Zen with them.  Something to be learned from a dogs aspect they live in the moment.  They fall asleep so blissfully, they are so trustworthy and love unconditionally.  Tripp was 20lbs when we got him now he's 40lbs still crawling in my lab for nap time.  Just watching him brings peace and quite to the mind.  He is a joy.

I've also started meditating before sleep, I must say sleep like a baby.

I have also deleted all music in my library that isn't going to help me reach my so called equilibrium.  I want my music to match my intellectual levels and tastes, and if it didn't match it now well I have no use for it.  My thoughts were if I have not listened to it in at least 6 months it's a toss or if it wasn't a favorite artist in some way that has stuck with me I wasn't keeping it.  I had music from the distant past and what I call booty poppin' music that I question why do I even have this?  I never listen to this?  Bye, Bye... There is always YouTube if I have a huge desire again.  This is also going in the same direction in my home, getting ride of things I don't use or need.

and I guess sort of the best part, I'm taking classes to get Network + Certified.  I'm looking forward to the classes.  Being challenged and seeing what unfolds.  I am thankful for those I've met and never met and continue to inspire me and share their wealth of knowledge.  Knowledge is truly wonderful.

A River of Words About Me

There are few who actually know me.  Fewer people who understand and get my train of thought.  My likes and dislikes often reflect my range of thinking, which at times I must confess it feels very different than most.  I look at people and things in a totally different light.  I consider myself to be highly compassionate.  I listen intently to everything deeply and feel from it.  People shy away from the abnormal and I embrace it.  The art I like is different than what most like.  I look beyond it, like I could be in another dimension.  I see beauty in the living and the dying.  I'm an eternal optimist and a pessimist.  I guess it doesn't matter if you don't get, it matters that I get it.  I see beauty in most minute things that's why I love macro photography.  When I'm on the ocean it feels like home and I'm alone and at peace.
With my music nothing else exists.  Lost.  Music I feel it coursing, pouring through my veins.  Each sound, even the faintest sounds, blending exquisitely together, each intricate part building up, I'm not here anymore.  The strings to a violin, the deep tones of the piano, space and time are gone.  Wait?  Where was I?
I find logic in almost everything and push through the mess.  Often times I can be judgmental and upfront and more often brutally honest.  My mind can be its own worst enemy when things are bad.  I feel the pain pulsing through my veins.  Everything feels real.  Not everyone has the courage to be themselves.  Breathe.  From sounds to reading everything wells up inside me bursting at the seems.  My moods are built into the music I adore and the feelings I share and the movies I enjoy.  Sometimes it feels like its bleeding.  Understand?  In any given moment when in a crowded room, alone.  Entirely free.  Lost.  Escape.
I feel at home through imagination, through inspiration.  I tend to put peoples needs before my own.  Fields are empty Or are they?  I lack surprise.  I feel pain walking by another.  I don't take risks but deep inside I'm an adventurer, dying to come out.  I stand firm in my beliefs, hard swayed without facts.   I am of my own breed not another even close.  I look into starry nights and the world melts away.  I look at mother nature in every way and see beauty at everything she does, as everything begins and fades away.  My dreams feel real and sometimes decide my moods, I respect the living and the deceased, I feel it all around me.  I'm the total lack of my own demise.  Most people don't have the courage to say, but what does one really have to lose?  I pity people who live without love.  I want to fall in love and believe it still exist but I have learned to never compromise your soul.  People who know me know the surface of me but not the essence of me.  My tolerance for nonsense is non existent  yet I have such great patience.  I sense things that don't belong.  Its eerie to be me.  I cry because I feel and ache at thinking to far into the unknown at times so I bury the demons deeper and deeper.

Superfluous Marlena 4.0.0?

What drives our craving for experiences we've never experienced before?  It seems no matter what we always think about  the grass is greener.   Perhaps in some cases it is.  I have this desire that keeps thriving I can't shake.  We often look outside and see a simple portrait and say I wish I was doing this particular thing, and or that very same individual is saying the same in reversal most often, looking out.  Everything always looks great from the outside.  Is it really though?  I envision myself in several different version.  Marlena 4.0.1,  4.1.1, 4.2.1. All with the same core Marlena just different avenues, desires, dreams and star chasing.  Would it all equate to what and who I am still today?  If I can't shake this longing for desire now does it mean I'm bound to do it and should I follow my instincts?  Or is it just another fad that will pass?  My logical brain argues relentless with my soul that its not illogical or is it just allllll my own lusts and desire overruling my logic?  It seems far from illogical.  So what's the hold up..signs