Its just who i am, right?

My feelings are simply this. You can sit around bitch and complain to everyone else about how you feel and hope it get back to that one person or you can own up and do it yourself. Or you could own up and take ownership of your own feelings. Since clearly, dispite what you may believe I'm not the almighty keeper of making everyone feel like shit as you seem to think, only you can control how you feel. So I'll leave and make you seem to think you feel better. Sure its easier to point the finger and place the blame on me, its been done for years, keep the tradition up for a tad longer I don't mind. It's much more fun to hurt the one's you love then to actually expose and be honest to the one thats really hurting you most. So as you say I'll take that little burden as I have for years and the blame for its me who has caused everyone to feel like shit there entire lives, me who makes them feel guilty, me who places all the shame. It is I the almighty asshole. I clearly wasn't given the title for nothing. So whatever helps you sleep at night, sure it's my fault all the bullshit has happened, its my fault, i'll deliver allllll the messages, I'll stay away, I'll doo whatever it is you seem to think you want me to do, cause hey, I'm the one who makes EVERYONE feel bad. That's just who I am.

Busy Drones

Being human...signs...life has a way of slapping you in face. You fall, you make mistakes and you bleed. The rare times your not falling, your laughing, you may want to hold on to that. You have responsibilities that you never thought you would have. We dream of things that are considerably out of reach, we reflect back on the past and drudge moving forward. Its a slosh of what feels like crap you have to sift through, that rarely ends up being good stuff. Yet you keep on plugging every day to get one step closer to that good stuff when it used to come so easily. Do you remember being so stressed as a kid? What's the sole purpose for us? We look back remember times so clear of drama and as we get older its all we deal with. What does this life give back to us besides hurdles of non sense just so we can reach that peaceful place we once had. Everything falls apart and everything rebuilds, the world still keeps plugging on without you. I wish there was a control, alt, delete button for our times of bleeding. I get it, we need to, to appreciate the good stuff, but what does it all mean? Does it have to be so hard? Of course it does, it makes you appreciate everything a hole lot more. But I must confess it still feels like we are all just busy drones for a purpose that doesn't necessarily fit our own agenda.