I'm Not Wearing Any Armor

Sunshine and warm weather is the replacement drug for Zoloft. I love those feelings when your totally utterly alone with no place to go, no where to be, nothing is expected of you and its wonderfully warm out, the sun beating upon your face and you could be driving listening to that song that just makes you feel like YOU. Or that cute outfit you have been dying to finally wear out. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Nothing. The guy that cut you off and gave you the finger, he's nobody you just smile and keep on singing and bouncing along and wave happily.

I love the fact that if your a secure enough person you can go out to dinner or to a movie with no armor on to shield the fact that your alone. Just you. There is something so lifting in all aspect of just something as simple as nice weather. Suddenly, you are spending quality time with yourself. You. Seems like we can be our own worst enemy's at times but who can be more your best friend than yourself? Your inner self, the child in you, the adult in you, its okay to bounce and run through the field, its okay to smile at something silly and its okay to be upset and its definitely okay to not have your cell phone, computers and friends to shield us.

What Did Cavemen Do? ? ?

I got to thinking are we really better off? ? ? At one time cavemen had a need for wisdom teeth now we don't...there just isn't enough room in our mouths anymore. Cavemen ate much healthier food, now we eat on the go fatty foods with chemicals in them to preserve them. Cavemen never had cars, now we have expensive gas prices, and last but not least...cavemen sure as hell did not have technology.

To get to the point. We have alll these neat little things that are supposed to so-called better our lives and make them easier, but do they really? I mean seriously accelerated tanning, computers (can't believe I'm even saying that), chemicals in our food and drinks, gas, cell phones, flip flops, blue tooth, medical technology and the list can go on. My point here lies...I love technology and my eyes are being punished for it. They say everything in moderation, but in a world that's moving at lightning speeds how can you really? It a shitty thought to think that the thing or things you love to do only end up essentially hurting you.

Judgements

I often wonder to myself, is it really a bad trait to have more faith in others and to believe that people can change? Or believe that because it's not the normal circumstances that it can't be real? I have extraordinary amount of patience with people I believe. I am apparently the most forgiving and believing person in the world I guess. People can shit on me left and right and yet I'll be pissed at you and then shrug it off. Because I will stop and think to myself is it really worth being upset about and writing you out of my life? I think not. I mean I do have a barrier, people have crossed this barrier and know exactly what my so called wrath is like, but if I do forgive them it's a one chance deal.
I know two wrongs don't make a right. But I just can't believe whether it's something to do with life, love, friends, family or not, that events, people, past and present cant change people. I just don't believe the phrase history repeats itself to the fullest. Maybe it does, but then maybe, just maybe there's that something knocks you off your feet and changes you. That's what I believe. Life is trial an error...is it not? I just feel with my experience (what little or more I may have) and what I have been accustomed too, that if it was something bad I'd get that feeling I always do, but seriously I just dont believe I'm really that naive. As much as I want to be hopeful and optimistic, I'm also a realist. People who know me, know that I don't deal well with the sugar coated lies and that I can base a valid decision on the truth. Yea, the truth sucks. I ask nothing less but the truth. But when I make my decision off the truth I know and can admit if it's a bad one, because it's based off of truth whether it's a good choice or bad choice. Even soo, I believe with everyone and their life choices I'm the least judgy person and I try my hardest to be there.