Never Grow Up

When we were younger we had very little reservations for caring or holding much back for what we did or thought.  Our biggest concerns was can we stay up late to watch my favorite show, can I have another cookie before bed, or can I go outside and play with my friends? We were essentially blank slates.  We never had any inclination what the real world really held.  Our own little worlds where so tiny, yet so fragile.  We never stopped and really wondered where things came from, or how it all worked, or what our parents may have been burdened with.  There was no need too.  Why would we?  When we are young we want everyone's acceptance. 

As we progress into our teens we start to learn new concepts and experiences but we still rarely care about the big scheme of things.  Well, you care, but you care more about numero uno.  I found here in my experience I cared so much less about everyone else's approval for acceptance and approvals and fitting in.  I no longer wanted to be apart of their well built establishment of clicks in high school I wanted to be me.  Yet still having no major responsibility in life except what was most important to yourself.  High school world  seemed like a sad joke.  You believed your whole world was wrapped around in that whole place and nothing much existed.  Except there really is a whole world out there.  All you worried about is what new CD came out, when will I hang out with my friends.  When will I see my favorite band yet again and oh the ultimate question is my father going to pull the spark plugs out of my vehicle again for the way I'm dressed or style preference   This used to blow my mind.  I remember getting annoyed but never really getting mad at him for it.  I remember getting dolled up back in the 90's (I believe the skirt was to my knees or for example ) to go some where out with friends.  He casually asked, where do you plan on going.  I replied out with friends.  He nodded and said, not until you changed and I remember thinking oh, sure, sure.  He never said anything and I never thought twice about it.  Till I went out to my car and tried to turn it on and it wouldn't start.  I come back in.  Dad my car won't start!  My father would casually reply...I know, I took out the spark plugs out, now go change.  I just remember thinking, well played sir, well played.  I have two younger sister...and I wanted retribution   I couldn't wait to see it happen to them.  I never got to see that kind of requirements for them, perhaps I was the lucky one.  

Regardless,  As we get older we start to realize we become more reserved and real things actually happen and the world ultimately does not revolve around you, despite what you once thought.  It's fun to look back and reflect on those times of youth.  Now your an adult.  You go to work, you pay bills, taxes, ugh, you deal with real life situations you really didn't  have to before, you break hearts, your heart gets broken, you deal with the happiest of times and the worst of times now and yet  self evolution continues and there is a whole big giant world out there for you.  Being an adult is exactly what you make of it.  I chose to still be a little excentric and have a great appreciation for that big world of life and a greater appreciation for all the shock and awe experiences that came with growing into my own adult self.  I regret very little.  Regrets hold you down.  I try to learn from my past with very little resentment.  For those past lessons are what shapes who you become.  I also don't allow them to decide my overall being because I wouldn't want to miss out on opportunity's or experiences I can experience   I hate the saying that people never or can't change.  It's the lack of wanting to or allowing yourself to evolve.  At this point I'm content as to whom I have shaped into as an adult as I still welcome self evolution always.  

Sometimes you gotta wonder though, wasn't it more fun when your biggest worry was am I going to get in trouble for breaking the rules?  Now that I am my own adult and I make my own rules its not as much of a thrill.  Just sayin'.....then again....it all depends.  I leave you with that.