where did the boldness go yonder?

I used to be one those people who didn't have a problem flat out asking a question without hesitation when I needed an answer or a resolution or when I felt I needed to protect myself and to be an asshole of sorts.  Especially in difficult situations.  But it seems in the past year or two I'd say that has changed dramatically.  Obviously its based on the situation itself as it arises.  Now i find myself either wondering occasionally instead of getting an answer or resolution, or I simply find myself choosing the less burden path. Due to not wanting to expel or waste energy on it.  Is that maturity?  is it laziness?  is it just not caring anymore?  Is it throwing my shield back up?  what is it?  Does it make me scared?  WTF???  When did that happen?  Did I even just say that?  Do I indeed value that much what the response is going to actually be?  Pfft...I really need to asses that in itself.  How about this...do I even really want to know???  Really?  I fight with myself I guess on some sort of inner level but if I really wanted to know wouldn't I just make some sort of effort to find out really?  A lot of times I think my good friends, real friends know me but I think that even gets very confused.  Especially in the drama department.  I don't participate.  I'm like The Dark Knight in the shadows.  I have no time or air to be wasted on such nonsense.  Yet, I feel it lurking in the background that some don't get that.  I feel like some will say they share the same view but won't and that's okay we are not meant too.  Touche.  But alas, where did the boldness go yonder?  I do not know, perhaps, I shouldn't fret.  As very few people have seen or provoked me to Red Alert status, I guess there's no major need for concern.